What happens when people stop being polite

Lots of big surprises around the ranch this month!

First, we had 2 surprise babies!!! Sophia Loren had a girl calf, who we have named Heddy Lamar (after much heated debate, please stay tuned for another calf named Gina Lollobrigida). Plata also had a boy calf, name to be determined. If he will become a steer we’ll go with Ribeye, if he becomes a bull I’m secretly hoping for Mirabeau B Lamar.

Also we got some tiny bb chicks. EG impulse bought these at Tractor Supply one Saturday when he was supposed to only be buying breakfast and possibly PVC pipe.

Anyways, they are Black Sex Link (I don’t make up names, get off my back) female chicks who will eventually become our layers. I wanted to wait and get some Easter Eggers which lay pretty eggs but clearly someone had other plans and ideas.

And now, a word from our guest columnist, Audrey. I asked Sean if he wanted to write something and he said no way.
So last time I spoke about what I do around the farm so now I’m going to talk about what I do in my free time or on the weekends.
1. Decorate my room: I like to look up cute DIY room decor and recreate them with what I have. It’s really fun and consumes about 30-60 minutes so if you’re looking to burn some time this would be a good idea.
2. I also like to talk to my friends on Messenger. We also like to play with filters and things like that. They help me not be bored.
3. I also like to read chapter books like the “Who Was” series. They are informational and entertaining.
4. I also like to watch movies on my tablet. I sit in my chair with my blanket and I turn on the LED lights. Red is the best color for watching movies.
Anyways that concludes my article, I hope this helps you and helps your weekend be a bit better.

Questions from the Audience:
An internet friend asked a few questions (he’s a journalist, lol):
Do you think people would be surprised to learn a crop is grown in your region? Which one?
Yes, actually. We don’t grow it ourselves but there are several rice fields in the county next to ours.
What is the largest farm vehicle you ever got stuck?
We’ve had the tractor stuck a few times. Our soil is sandy loam so when it’s saturated it can be similar to quicksand.
Have you ever had cattle get loose?
An ongoing saga. Sean was famously late to his 9th grade band concert because our bull got in our neighbors pasture.
If EG gets sick who steps up and takes care of things?
It’s a team effort. Sean and I and my brother in law usually team work stuff pretty well. We’ve set it up to where I’m capable of doing or outsourcing most things on the farm, even if EG is the daily “heavy”. It’s going to be an adjustment for sure in the next few months as Jr and Sean both fly the nest.

A long-time friend asked:
What were the unexpected changes you encountered when beginning farm lyfe?
It was for sure an adjustment of expectations when we realized we had different goals for the farm. I was more of the “have cows just to have an Ag Exemption and let’s have chickens and goats and cute animals running around everywhere." Y’all. Animals poop. A lot. And not in discrete places. Also if a goat can get it they will get out and pigs root and ruin your yard. Also, everyone has cute chickens because it’s TRENDY so there is literally a wait list for some breeds. And EG wanted to have Cows For Real so now we have Cows for Real.
Does Sean enjoy farming?
No. He longs for the days of decent Wifi and living near a Raising Canes. He surprisingly loves fence repair though. He had to make a speech about his 5, 10, 20 year plan for a class and at each stage it was “living in a city”. Bless it.

DRANK OF THE MONTH:
Milano- we got this recipe when I got a cocktail subscription box for EG a few years ago. This is the perfect jump start to vaccinated Hot Girl Summer.
1oz dry gin (we are not fancy and use Bombay Sapphire or Beefeater. Also we love Seersucker but their website says you can only get it in the T states. Sorry other 48)
1oz Campari
1oz Orange juice
1/2oz simple syrup
1/2oz lemon juice

Load up your cocktail shaker with ice and pour in the ingredients. Shake for 30 seconds and serve over ice. Top with club soda to taste and garnish with an orange wedge.

I’m not saying it’s good, I’m just saying one of our extended family members who is not a cocktail person literally drank 6 one night.

Product of the Month.


I got the Byroe Salmon Cream in an Ipsy bag. I usually pass my skincare stuff to either Sean or Audrey because I like the products I like and I’m not usually open to change. But I asked myself “What if they really like this and then I have to repurchase?” So I Googled. Dear Reader it is ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY AMERICAN DOLL HAIRS for 1.69 ounces. For reference my Neutrogena Water Gel is $23 for roughly the same amount. So no, people who are not old enough to buy wine, you are not getting a sample size of a vv expensive moisturizer. So I tried it for myself.

Y’all, it’s a pretty good moisturizer but it smells like your grandmother. If she were exceedingly wealthy. And also a chain smoker. Y’all it smelled so much like stale cigarette smoke I had to look around to make sure my Nanny and Paw Paw hadn’t come to visit from The Beyond. They weren’t wealthy by any stretch of the imagination but they were definitely enthusiastic indoor smokers. Who loved me beyond all measure. I ain’t out here throwing shade, I’m just saying scents evoke memories.

Am I going to continue using it? Of course, I am not a fool. I’m not out here trying to look 23 but I am aiming to always look a few years younger than my actual age.

Bonus Content:
A friend asked for a lewk for the bluebonnets and I’m sad to say that most of the bluebonnets are gone and this is the only lewk I took a pic of recently. Feel free to replicate.

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